Selasa, 17 Februari 2009

hating-liking @ 03.29

i change my mind twice, no no three times, or maybe six times. BECAUSE of WHAT do you execpt?

because liking someone, well that's a normal thing to think right?

but sadly, people
im liking and hating the same exact person! at the same time. possible-impossible to belive, its someone i know in my classroom. i dont want to say anything more to open-up my huge wide super secret. because if i tell you it wouldnt be a huge wide super secret, anyway,

i've changing my feelings towards this boy over there, for like 8 times (i think)
i dont know why and how, and i dont need to know why and how.

but, it's useless
i hate him, he hates me
so whats the useful thing to like this guy anyway?

he probably likes my huge most sweetest amazing awesomest coolest best friend i ever had. but maybe, its the truth, the most saddest truth i ever had. (besides the death of my loveable sweetest adorable mother)

i dont want to be a coward, but sadly, i must for this kind of problem, i wanna tell that boy that i liked him, ONLY LIKE ALRIGHTY MATES?
but, sadly, i dont have any more braveness anymore, i just CAN'T say that i like him (well i did) but i dont want him to know (but yes i did) BUT NO NO NO HE CANNOT KNOW THAT I LIKE HIM, AND THAT'S FINAL. i dont really trust my friends for knowing this anyway, but hey, they are my amazing girl friends i ever had (exclude my awesome alaia & besuki 08)

if i could choose, i wanted die anyways, because he doesn't know my feelings towards him (or maybe HE DOES know) but, i wanted him to know, but i dont want to tell it, but i even dont want him to know (confuse already? close this tab)

i really really like him, not love alrighty matesy? just like. only like.

and that's not just the problem alrighty?
i dont like ONLY this boy, but i've a crush on someone else. not as much as this person we talk about, anyway.

but aaaaaaaaa can you imagine?

'hating-and-liking-the-same-exact-person-in-your-classmate-and-you-hate-him-so-much-you-wanna-kill-him-but-at-the-same-time-you-dont-want-to-get-seperate-to-him' problem?!
this makes me crazy like a fish in a fish-bowl been stirred. (now i know how they feel about it anyway)

but somehow, that's all for today. :D

Label: friendship, hates, hating, hurts, liking, school life.