Rabu, 02 Desember 2009

over-fanatic fan girl @ 05.26

hey there. i am currently in love with someone who'll never be together with me. which makes it sucks. and it hurts, but i still love him in anyway, anyway.
why? because i already fall in to deep. and i can't get out. and that's the risk of falling in love with someone. i knew him for a year already, even though we're not close. i've never been in a team with him. but my friends do. i really like to stare at him, a lot. but he never even glance a bit at me. i really wanted to be with him, but i know, it's impossible. i really wanted to make him realize that i was there, but sadly i couldn't even speak to him even one LETTER. i can't barely talk to him in even a study group. i just can't figure out how to speak when he's near me. he's just too-- PERFECT (for me) i really love him. even though it hurts, again.
i really wanted to be his. but i guess that's impossible, that's just barely, a dream. a never ever becoming true dream. this is the first time, i've cried over a person, just because i love him too much, too deep, and too strong. he can't see that he's the one who's hurting me, since loving him hurts so bad ,cus i knew that you wont be mine, at all. so this is (PROBABLY) my last chance to tell you, i wanted to be with you, forever, even though its impossible (again) and i knew it already, still, i love you with all my might. and i wish you a happy life. it hurts but if it makes you happy, i'll be alright, cause all i want is the best for you. im cheering you from the other side. which'll never be together with your side. so i guess, i really love you. and it hurts. i really wanted to see you smile for me, but it'll never happens. but, sorry. i guess i'll have to cry over you for a hundred times. since i really love you so deep, so strong, and too much. :'')

Label: love life, rants, retarded, school life, stupidity

Rabu, 21 Oktober 2009

something @ 05.36

hey. in this post i would like to thank my friends they made me smile <3
even though i was curled up with so many problems. -_-

alaia, andina, nthi, kak sassa, kak essa surya adbi pratama, razni, naura, ziqo, zahra, gita, amanti, tesha, nisa, karin, dinah, alda, dila, vani, kak dims, kak rawr, kak lauraw, opi lonceng :p, chans, dance, gaveey,keish, riks, zells, gails, melski, vars, mrals, gers, tito, bowo, lutfhey, 81 family :3
kak gers, kak mans, kak tiss, kak hans, kak yudhisssssss, kak essaa, kak tiara, kak dionita andilolo, kak wira, kak fers, febry, rara, rirey, rimah, jack black :p, cup of coffee, yogenfruz, potato chips, manga, twitter, tumblr, blogger, facebook, omegle, msn, tweetdeck, destroytwitter, snitter, bitter, snaptu, cloudberry, mozilla, safari, goochrome, owl city, iTunes, iPod, laptop, headset, last but not least, dearlest kevin russel chandler & shane dawson who make me smile in youtube :3

Label: friends., fun, random, rants, smile

Senin, 19 Oktober 2009

damn @ 03.45

pas gue mikir tentang itu tibatiba di channel V lagunya James Blunt yang you're beautiful mulai. ya olloh gue mau nangis tau gak? i really love you but i know you wont love me at all :[
guess everything that i wanted always been stole away by anyone i knew. I REALLY LOVE YOU. I REALLY WANTED TO SAY I LOVE SO MUCH BUT I CAN'T. i just seem so foolish to love you aren't i?

BUT I CAN'T HELP IT! you're too much to be true.
I JUST CAN'T HELP IT DAMN IT. AAAAAAAARGH.
WELL DAMN, I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT TO LIKE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
IT FEELS LIKE IM KINDA STUPID TO LIKE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I STILL LOVE YOU WHATEVER YOU DO :P

Label: heartache., love life, rants, stupidity, today

Kamis, 01 Oktober 2009

Terrific Thursday @ 03.43

hey pals.
guess what? today we finished school at 8:45am isn't that great or what?! LOL. so, since my driver went to the hospital with my grandmother. and my dad's car was been borrowed by my unc so i thought that i can go home with my neighbour, Yamilla Alaia Sudibdja. but guess what? today's my unlucky day so i guess shit happens. alaia went to keisha's house. darn it. so i guess i'll ask some of my classmates, when will they go home. 50% of them said at 10am, 30% of them went home as soon as possible after the bell rang. and the other 10% went to Razni's house. while me, myself, the othe 10% dont know what where will i go. so i just have to use my luck.
i borrow coins from Naura, (thanks a lot dude) and i call my house. and i ask dad, if i can get the permission to go to Razni's house. and he said YES. that's just-- unbelieveable! guess today aint unlucky day afterall lols. so, we go to razni's house my BBG Bajaj IT HAS A HUGE SPACE AND HAS A BAGGAGE TOO! that's just wickedly awesome. sorry if im a bit tawdry -.- i've never ever ride a BGG bajaj before so yeah. this is the conclusions.
then, after we arrive at Razni's house. we wait for the water to come up and we go to Razni's room. it's awesome. i love the hello kitty dispenser and the chocolate machiney thingy. then we called the Cinema, since there's no The Grudge 3 at Metropole, and all of the shows in Metropole all bullshits and jackass. we change our location tooooooooooo Djakarta XXI. There's only 2 choices, surrogates or last legion. we decided toooooooooooo watch Surrogates. why? last legion's about some weird historical and some ancient thingy stuff. we (minus Gita) dont like it.
we have to walk to the street. we stop an Angkot and we stop a cab. we're caught in a traffic jam for a short period of time. so we can sigh a relief. and theeeeeeen~~ we finally arive at Djaket.
we buy a ticket and we only have to wait for a few moments. and the spokewoman from the microphone in somewhere at the building announcing somethin' about the film. so we enter the er-- what d'you call it? cinema? yeah somethin' like that. and there's a whole bunch pile of trailers&Advertisement. theeeeen. finally the movie.
IT'S GODDAMN AWESOME. and Bruce Willis in there making me drools~~ he a hottie for an guy in his age, y'know? he's gorgeous, hot, cool, elegant, and not to mention, goddamn rich. damn the person that become his wife is so goddamn LUCKKKKKKKKKY~~~~~~~~~
anyways. the show was 9.9/10 stars its just tooooooooooo cool~
so the movie in my top 3 list for the year can be crossed.
The Orphan CHECK
Harry Potter HBP CHECK
Surrogates CHECK

my top 3 list for the next few months / next year gonna be
A Nightmare on Elm Street(remake)
Daybreakers (i'll bet this movie will be 1000000 times much much cooler than that goddamn shitty asshole and full of bullshit TWILIGHT)
and last but not least, Resident Evil : Afterlife that'll be goddamn awesome

Label: awesome, movie, rants, review, year resolutions.

Rabu, 16 September 2009

worstest birthday ever @ 05.19

this is dedicated to my mum. :'')

dearlest mom,

it's seems empty without you here. i really hope you can see me from heaven typing this post with eyes full of tears. i just can't seem bear it alone. i missed the time when i was laying in your shoulders and you confronted me with a single smile and a short sentences. "it'll be alright" it's like magic when you said that. i felt a lot better. but now-- no one's gonna tell me that anymore. even if there is some other person. it wont be the same as yours. i missed you. all these years, i have to bear all of these pains and tears, alone. people thought im doing it right. but they just haven't see me in the inside. it's half broken and ruined. i can't seem to be honest with myself.

i know maybe you're watching me somewhere in the skies. and you saw what i've been doing all these times. and you're disappointed with me right now, right here, this time. im sorry you've been carrying the world upon your shoulders, you carried half of my sins in your shoulders. im sorry. i just can't seem to bear what've you bear all of these time. im sorry mom. that's all i can say, im sorry. :'(

mom. why did you have to go so soon? you're a kind, nice, and gentle mother. but you've gone. so soon. i just cant seem to bear it, when i knew that you're not here with me, when i need you the most. when all the lights seem so dark, and when i need your hands, and when i wanted to be close with you. but even if we met in the afterlife. i knew we wouldn't stay at the same side. you're in heaven, and im in hell. i wanted to take your hand. i wanted to feel your gentle hand around my shoulders again. i wanted to take a small walk and talk about the life i've been lived. mom, i wanted to ask you, once again. where are you now? when nothing is going right, where are you now? i just seem can't see the light.

please, take my hand for the last time, show me what do you want me to be, i need you to set me free, free from all of these pains, emotional pressure, and hatred. mom, im about to blow out the last candle, where are you now? now that im grown, where are you now? why are we so far apart? this distance, is the distance that i cannot reach. i wanted to follow you, but i just seem dont have the enough bravery to reach out to you.

so mom, im about to slice the cake right now. could you please, appear even just for a minute? and help me to slice the first cake? i just wanted to see you, i just wanted you to see how happy will i be when you're right here by my side. even just for a moment. :')

mom? where are you now? are you right here by my side?
do you watch me when im sleeping at my bed?
do you follow me to school?
do you pat my shoulders when i was carrying the world upon my shoulders? just like the last time you did?
but mom. where are you exactly? i just can see the light. am i that blind to see the pureness of your heart?

Label: family matter, life, others, rants, sadness

Kamis, 10 September 2009

5 random rants @ 07.50

"aku gak ngerti deh sama kamu, kenapa sih kamu suka banget sama yang namanya berantem emang segitu enaknya ya, kalo kamu tau kamu itu punya power. tolong dong, bisa gak kamu kecilin dikit suara kamu kalo lagi otp, kesel tau. suara kamu tuh jelek. kita putus" -- Someone out there, when she was telling me her stories.

first and introducing my rants.
those sentences, aren't spoken by my mouth. it's from my friend's best friend's. it's not me people. im single. and i think i would be single for the rest of my life. which is-- good, and bad, at the same time. yeah i know. im a freak. shut up. well, what cha gonna told us today, chaskey?
im gonna rant about love life. i have many friends which is in a relationship. they bragged to me about their new crush, new boyfriends and etc. me, personally, i'll be happy for them. cus if they were happy i'll be happy. since they wont causing me any troubles ;p but, what i hate is that, when people started to cry infront of me and begged me for my advice. about their lovelifes problem. BROKE UP, HANGED UP, and CHEATED OVER WITH. (just like i cheated facebook with twitter. lols) darn-- i hate it when they cried because their so bragged called boyfriend cheated, hanged up, and broke them up. what the-- glorius fucking tale are you telling me?! firstly, you bragged to me about your boyfriend, and now? darn.
i personally felt a bit slightly sad for them. especially when their boyfriends cheated over them with their bestfriend, or perhaps, when they hanged them up without any reasons. that's just pathetic. especially when you TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP. YOU CAN'T TEXT MESSAGE BREAK UP YOU LOSER. what kind of faggot who would do that?! that's just fucking pathetic. i hate those kind of guys. darn. basically, i hate all of the guys who were unfaithful, and unreasonable.

second part of my rants.
frozen yogurt, or easily called Frogurt. hah really random ey? well. i hate it when people says, that sour sally is the first and most popular brand of frozen yogurt. NO. SOUR SALLY'S NOT. the most popular and the first brand that made frozen yogurt is cielo. while the most popular is pinkberry, and i'll pick pinkberry rather than cielo. why? because i haven't tasted cielo's frogurt before. i will. soon. i think. buuuuuuut anyway, let's talk about pinkberry, you have no reason to doubt its taste. more softer, more tastier, more popular, more sweeter, and more bigger than any frozen yogurt ever. second one. yogen fruz. daaaaaaaaaaarn. this thang rocks my tummy like a hungry bearrie. just-- wtf?! this is the (second) most softiest yogurt i've ever tasted! damn damn damn. especially the vanilla plain blended with strawberry fruit, with some oreo toppings~~ god darn. that's just-- that's just too good to be ignored. gaaaaaaaaah.

third part of my rants.
twitter. many celebrities has twitter. why? because twitter's so easy, even a celebrity can do it! so i guess celebrity has another thing that can be done in the internet then making their own sex tapes. gah -.- that's just too disgusting to be discussed. so, i guess celebrity have many spare time in their lifes ey? they even can tell thousands no, millions of people what ARE they DOING in that TIME. isn't that just amazing? celebrity's not so darn busy after all! they even more relaxed than us, students! darn. that's just fuc-kamazing! so. twitter. the most popular micro blogging site. when people we knew turns into stalkers, and stalkers turns into our friends. isn't that just---------- FUNNY? yeah. when stalking appears to be ILLEGAL. following aka 'stalking' in twitter, is goddarn LEGAL. whoa. i've never see that coming before

forth part of my rants.
chris crocker.
i love him, her. he's just amazing. he supports gayness, he support britney. that's just everything that people wouldn't do. why? because they were to fucking scare to make their own opinions, but chris doesnt he's a fucking hero (for me) he's just so goddamn amazing. and it makes me wanna puke when i found many people badmouth about him. why?! because those people ARE doing the SAME thing like their insults to chris. they are just fucvking annyoving. yeah sorry for the V's i just like to do them. it's fun.
chris crocker is the most prettiest man i've ever seen. he could be a pretty woman, yet a handsome-smexy-masculine man in the same time. he could change into any gender he likes. why? because he made his own opinion. he doesn't care about what anyone said to him. because he's strong, independent man. he's a fucking brilliant guy (for me)

fifth and the last part of my rants.
is about how my fingers turns so numb after i type these post. darn. i guess i've to take a break, and sleep. it's already 10:18pm well. goodbye bloggies friendies. ILY

Label: famous people, rants, twitter., youtube

Jumat, 21 Agustus 2009

senyum maksa @ 01.14

berasa cantik ya lo kalo lagi senyum maksa, tai?
mentang-mentang gue begini lo kesel, gue begitu, lo marah. mau lo apa? bukannya kita udah minta maaf? bentar lagi puasa nyet. kalo gak mau maafin gue beneran ya gak usah dong. kesel deh gue. oke ya, kalo emang lo benci sama gue dan mau nyadarin yaudah oke. TAPI GAK GITU JUGA DONG CARANYA BITCH. gak punya otak apa ya lo!? pikirin perasaan orang lain dulu dong! kalo orangnya gak punya a strong emotion strength gimana!? bisa bisa tuh orang gila tau gak! dan penyebabnya tuh LO. TAE. gue sumpahin lo di SMA digituin mampus lo! tai. benci banget gue. lo gak punya perasaan atau gak punya otak atau gimana sih? pikir dong ya, kalo lo yang digituin gimana? kalo emotion strength lo tuh poor banget gimana? bisa-bisa lo bunuh diri MATI MAMPUS. bego banget sih lo. pikirin perasaan orang lain dulu dong. ck
gila emosian banget gue. ckgrrr. grawel. lagian ini anak satu bikin gue pusing. gak semuanya. gue cuma dendam ama yang satu. apa banget siiiiiiiiiiiiiih. sumpah ih gue kepingin ngelindes ini anak satu. ngejambak rambutnya eeeeeeeeer. kesel banget gue dasar zzzzzzzzzz kesel gue zzzzzzzzzzz aaaaaa zzzzzzzzzzzz

Label: anger, autis, freak, friends.